Friday, October 24, 2008

Max Payne -- schlocky action movie

Tony and I have this tradition, I realized as I was driving him home from this mediocre schlocky action movie. We like junk. Trash, rather. Or at least, when we're together, we can complain about it enough to create enjoyment.

After every term at Portland State we had together, we went out for honorary drinks. But not good drinks, see. We went to a shitty SE dive called The Space Room for sugary drinks that glowed in the blacklight, named after bugs or candy. (To this day The Space Room is the only Portland bar where I've seen an actual lady of the night hawking her wares -- she was pretty too, which surprised me somehow).

We also watch schlocky action movies.

He called mid-week and said we were going to see Max Payne. I knew it was going to be total schlock, but I didn't know until Tony told me in the theatre itself that it is a movie based on a video game. That's an even lower bar than "schlocky action movie." Normally I wait until at least Beer theaters for those dogs, sometimes DVD, often I just skip them entirely.

So, yeah -- we went to the movie. It didn't totally blow chunks, but it was no Professional or Bourne movie.

The movie is well shot, but completely and utterly formulaic. And, it spends way too much time on back story and motivation. We get it, he's getting revenge, he's dead inside, yadda yadda yadda. More guns less talk, people.

I am feeling (and was feeling) generous, and give the movie a C. I like Marky Mark, what can I say.

Wait for a DVD rental on this one, or -- if you are feeling flippant, a beer theater. Here's a trailer, in case you missed it.

Enjoy watching dumb movies with friends,


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