Paxil Back -- parody of Timberlake's Sexy Back

I can't believe I haven't posted this yet. One of my favorite parodies. A big hit during the old study group days.



Enjoy musical humor,

Bp

Fever Ray: When I Grow Up

Trippy video, trippy song. It's growing on me. Lemme know what you think.



Enjoy new music and visuals when you can find them,

BP

[via Doc Ock]

Max Payne -- schlocky action movie

Tony and I have this tradition, I realized as I was driving him home from this mediocre schlocky action movie. We like junk. Trash, rather. Or at least, when we're together, we can complain about it enough to create enjoyment.

After every term at Portland State we had together, we went out for honorary drinks. But not good drinks, see. We went to a shitty SE dive called The Space Room for sugary drinks that glowed in the blacklight, named after bugs or candy. (To this day The Space Room is the only Portland bar where I've seen an actual lady of the night hawking her wares -- she was pretty too, which surprised me somehow).

We also watch schlocky action movies.

He called mid-week and said we were going to see Max Payne. I knew it was going to be total schlock, but I didn't know until Tony told me in the theatre itself that it is a movie based on a video game. That's an even lower bar than "schlocky action movie." Normally I wait until at least Beer theaters for those dogs, sometimes DVD, often I just skip them entirely.

So, yeah -- we went to the movie. It didn't totally blow chunks, but it was no Professional or Bourne movie.

The movie is well shot, but completely and utterly formulaic. And, it spends way too much time on back story and motivation. We get it, he's getting revenge, he's dead inside, yadda yadda yadda. More guns less talk, people.

I am feeling (and was feeling) generous, and give the movie a C. I like Marky Mark, what can I say.

Wait for a DVD rental on this one, or -- if you are feeling flippant, a beer theater. Here's a trailer, in case you missed it.



Enjoy watching dumb movies with friends,

Bp

Hot Pockets Recall -- warning, warning

Jim Gaffingan's Hot Pockets skit was a huge hit last year with me and mine, so this little piece of news couldn't avoid our notice. Imagine that, hot pockets may contain pieces of plastic and other foreign material. What's this world coming to.

Bp

[via The Wife]

Best gift idea I've had in months

Bumped into the Fat Rags website, and cruised it just in case there was a shirt I couldn't live without. Ended up finding a shirt that Doc Ock's kid couldn't live without.

The "Who's your daddy?" black shirt with Darth Vader -- on a 9-year-old -- how rocking is that!? He always wears black anyway, he's a huge Star Wars fan, it's perfect.

I had to contact the company to see if they could print kid's sizes, and they did a special printing just for me. I can't wait to give it to him, his dad's gonna die laughing.

Enjoy giving gifts to your friends kids for no apparent reason (other than GENIUS),

Bp

Awesomeness personified: Jackie Chan stunt tribute

Having just watched a fantastically horrible movie this weekend with Doc Ock and Tony, I am good on cheesy movies again. For a minute. It's been a long, long time since I saw a movie that was so bad it was good -- but that's beside the point.

I ran across this Jackie Chan stunt tribute today, and thought I'd post it. This guy is like a Bruce Lee version of Jackass, I swear. I knew he did his own stunts, but I didn't know how little safety equipment was involved. Crazy stuff -- and out of fantastically horrible movies to boot.



Enjoy your crazy masochistic stunt heroes,

Bp

Baby name voyager

Here is a site with a cool java widget that tells you the popularity of various baby names throughout the years.

I'm posting this for Lil' Mike, who is in a bit of a baby name debate right now and wanted the data to back up his position.

I swear I posted this before, but I can't find it now in my own blog. Thank god my friends have decent searchable blogs.

Enjoy random data accumulation, and the widgets it produces,

Bp

Name Change with The Study Group

[a pre-requisite for this post is The Study Group introduction, describing a few of these people and their nick-names -- still my most popular post on this blog]

Pre-med students have to take all 3 terms of grueling O-chem. We Oranismal Biology majors, with intent to become teachers, only have to take 1 term.

When The Study Group (almost all pre-meds) found out about this, they looked at me incredulously and said "you're gonna take all 3 terms, RIGHT?" I had to be honest -- dreading the response, "Uh -- no." That damned class is responsible for my first B at PSU -- it broke my streak, the bastard.

Oh the derision and foot-stamping, oh the incredulousness that ensued. We've been studying together, maniacally, for over a year now, and I had to go and fuck it up.

Doc Ock said, "Well, you have a new nick-name then. It has to be done. You're now YOKO... because you BROKE UP THE BAND!!"

It has stuck, I am now known as Yoko to The Group.

Enjoy the loyalty of friends,

Bp

An unexpected study break

So we're studying over at The Den (Doc Ock's apartment) when we heard a very serious crunch outside and a car alarm going off. Somehow, I knew. I stood up, got my shoes and started lacing them. I went outside and clicked my keys and sure enough the alarm turned off.

Some poor guy was turning a corner in a light truck, and as he accelerated out of the turn lost the back end on wet street and wet leaves. He really nailed the car, pushing the back tire into the curb hard enough that it's not exactly at the right angle anymore. I'm thinking the axle is maybe not so hot.

He was all right, he came up to the apartment and we started doing the do, we offered him condolences, tea and hot openfaced tuna melts, and the dance with the insurance company begins. So far Geico is fine, but time will tell.

An unexpected 3-hour study break (all told, getting the rental car etc).

Oh, and (although I see its use and I find myself enjoying little bits and pieces of it) Organic chemistry , with this professor and his Rampantly Rigorous Tests (tm) -- can bite me.

Enjoy your infernal combustion transportation,

Bp

Inspirational video, no joke

Doc Ock said he watched this video and his "father insides" just revved to full speed and he cried like a baby. Even Captain American said he can't watch it without tearing up. We are all grinding away on Organic Chemistry and needing to keep our morale high, so we watched this video.

This is a sports video, and it's inspirational. Most people would think I was about to be sarcastic, because I'm not the big sports fan, and the term "inspirational" nowadays is almost always a setup for a cynical, ironic flippant comment of some kind.

I watched it, and sure as shit I teared up.

Story of McElway, an autistic kid who only really opened up around the high school basketball team that he was the assistant for. He was a huge fan, and carried water and balls and towels for the team for years. At the end of the season, years into his involvement with the team, the coach had him suit up and go in.

We watch. We imagine ourselves in the kid's place. We watch the crowd reaction.

And then we commence to have leaky eyes.



Enjoy your sappy but healthy emotions,

Bp

Texting The Wife from a late night study session

There's this game that happens when I'm wearing down and getting tired from studying, where I occasionally try to abash the wife with untoward text messages. Usually, the response is either silence, or "BAH" or "You are SO weird."

Last night, however, she had been drinking wine and watching some medieval religious thriller thingy of a movie. Her response was unprecedented.


"What are you wearing right now?"


"The blood of the heathen gods smeared across my soot blackened loins; brow and small of back oily with citrus, ginger, and gold. You?"



I had been duly, resoundingly, and completely outclassed. I conceded defeat immediately.


Enjoy your study diversions, and celebrate your mate,

Bp

Island stories over breakfast

After a very dense Organic Chemistry lecture, I went out to breakfast with Big Chocolate. We were talking island ecology, and the ceremonies associated with gathering food, and he began in with a childhood memory.

In October or November, the Palolo swarm. This is cause for staying up all night with nets and buckets, and waiting for them to wash ashore. The timing has to be right, and men row back and forth offshore in canoes and lanterns looking for the swarm. When it happens, folks scoop up the wriggling wormlike things and pack their buckets, many eating the delicacy fresh out of the ocean.

An image that stayed with me, was that he said Leis of a particular yellow fragrant tree orchid were the appropriate offering when the Palolo came in. In the mornings after they gathered, he said the high tide mark was knee deep in fragrant yellow Leis, and you could smell them from far far away.

What a beautiful image. I could listen to island stories all day, I swear.

Off to continue cataloging Texas vertebrate species.

Enjoy your writhing oceanic delicacies,

Bp

Report from the bunker

Full crew here at Team Organic's headquarters in the seedy "bonfire" neighborhood of 28th and S.E. Stark. There are 3 intense men circling a too small dining room table. Occasionally, they curse under their breath as they write, hunched over their work like jewelers with bad eyes. There is a couch pulled out from the wall to make room for a 4' x 6' dry erase board full of esoteric stick drawings, with C's and OH's and Br's. It could be a football play, a bank job, or even a hit.

We lost half of the internees around midnight -- leaving Big Chocolate, Captain America, Doc Ock, and me behind.

You know, Bromine is more selective. You do know that don't you. You better... and remember it too.

By all rights there should be a haze of smoke in the air, and bags of drugs somewhere, maybe shoulder holsters on the big guys at the table -- for the intensity of the scene here. At least there aught to be multiple sports games playing on radios around the room, and a bookie cage in the corner with nervous gamblers smoking outside of it.

There is an organic chemistry exam tomorrow. The teacher has openly stated that he's going to "make this one harder" than the first one. We're nervous. We're cornered. There are chemicals on sticks everywhere.

If you knock on the door, use the code.

Enjoy your school-free life,

Bp

Samoan with a sword, RUN!

Big Chocolate went with me to Aikido Club sword training today. I tell you what, I haven't seen anything in a long time as intimidating as a big Samoan swinging a sword. Yikes.

I have to stop typing now, my hands are too tired.

Enjoy your continued cultural collisions,

Bp

Musical Discovery: So Called - You Are Never Alone

Doc Ock somehow found this video on youtube, originally attracted to it because of the visuals. But as we listened, the whole family (that's study and home family) has decided we really like the music too. Like simple downbeat fusion hip hop or something. T. says it sounds like a hip hop version of a spiritual.

Anyway, it's groovy and I thought some of ya'll would appreciate it.

Enjoy your new musical discoveries,

Bp

Old Geezer returns to campus

Morning of the changing-of-the-gears. I'm eating home-smoked salmon in scrambled eggs for breakfast, and contemplating the next year of my life. Being married to The Wife is going smashingly, and most nights as I fall asleep I feel about like This. Just real content.

School, however, can bring up slightly more difficult feelings. Like, "a full year from now you'll have your BACHELORS DEGREE... whoooopteeedooo, might as well be finishing high school in your 40's." Kind little thoughts like that. And "you'll be almost 40 by the time you start your next career, and you will be taking a pay drop -- what were you thinking again?" But as per my training, I just let those thoughts slide on by, and concentrate on the moment.

The moment now consists of an almost finished plate of breakfast and my PSU schedule. Early one this term, and 5 days a week. Knowing that the study group likes to study til 1-2 a.m. -- this presents some logistical problems. I will be interested to see how the whole thing resolves.

The Wife just came in and said "ooh, it's the first day of schoool. I feel like I should pin a note to your chest 'if lost, return to ____' and send you out with a bag lunch!" Har har.

Ok, time for the next step -- clothing and packing up the backpack.

Here we go.

Enjoy your little life transitions,

Bp

Computer back on track: Props to Belmont Computers, Superbad review, Montage

First, props: As if there was any doubt Belmont Computers kicks butt, check out the name of their custom build high-end gaming computer. Thanks guys, great to have my machine back.

Went out last night with Doc Ock and Tony to see Superbad (see trailer here). This was definitely a guy's night out kind of movie, The Wife was a no-go on it. I can say, we laughed our butts off. Yep, it's dumb, but it's funny as hell if you are willing to get back into the headspace of being in high-school. If your high school experience had a lot to do with scoring booze and trying to lose your virginity at least. The subject matter is typical for this genre of movie, because it is so typical for that time. What sets this movie apart is the pitch perfect writing and delivery.

I think Superbad will be the Fast Times at Ridgemont High of its generation, quoted as often as Caddyshack was in my high school locker room. It has a meeelion one liners of note, and is funny throughout the whole playtime of the film.

Hm, I just called it a "film" -- ok that IS a stretch.

Anyway, for those willing to take the ride I give it a solid A. Those unwilling shouldn't even rent it when it hits dvd.

After the movie we went to The Montage for appetizers, coffee and dessert. The service was comfortingly consistent -- diffident, probably drug-addled busgirl throws water toward our drinking glasses, hip waiter hollars our muscle shooter orders toward the kitchen (the mussel shooters are absolutely fantastic), and we were seated in a group table in the corner, elbow to elbow with other patrons even when 75% of the dining room was stark raving empty. And yet, I keep going back. The mussel shooters, coffee, and mud pies should have been explosive once combined, but we all survived it seems. Great night to hang out with some friends before the tidal wave of school pummels all three of us.

Enjoy your friends,

Bp

XKCD comic just for The Study Group

Posting this for The Study Group in honor of school commencing soon[insert secret handshake here]:



[remember, click on the picture to make it bigger/readable]

Enjoy you inner geek,

(thanks for reminding me of this strip Bentley)

Doc Ock photographs, hospital visit report

Doc Ock is in the hospital, recovering from surgery on his Hiatal Hernia.

The Wife and I went and visited him at OHSU tonight, and he's looking chipper for someone who was just blown up like a balloon, had 4 holes cut into him, had his stomach sliced and then moved up and wrapped around his esophagus. Not the most technically accurate depiction of the surgery, but should give you a good visual. We were there for his first Popsicle, it was a landmark event.

These pictures are of him receiving the window air conditioning unit the Study Group gave him to make his convalescence after the surgery more comfortable. They were taken during a BBQ at Captain America's house. The wrapping was McGuyver at best, and Mad Max at worst. The "bow" is made out of a tall kitchen garbage bag. I basically just covered over anything on the outside of the box that would identify the present, then used enough duct tape that it would be a challenge to get open.

The first shows him starting to open the box, then the moment when he realizes what it was (he said he was scared to open the thing, not having any idea what we would be getting him), and then some Man-Love (tm) with Captain America. On the right there is Captain America's S.O. Wonder Woman.

























Finally a few photographic records of the study group. I'll make more as I can.

Enjoy your hernia-free life,

Bp

Tom Waits, bad influence

So last night, as per usual this close to finals, the crew was up late and studying at Doctor Octagon's. Through some byway of conversation, I found out that Lil Mike had no idea who Tom Waits was -- kids these days! I took it upon myself to introduce the boy. So I pulled up some favorite songs, in video form, starting with Chocolate Jesus, and then hitting him with a one-two punch of Shore Leave and 9th and Hennepin.

The effect was marked -- and made me remember back to when I first heard Tom Waits, a couple centuries ago. His eyes got big, his attention galvanized. "Oh god I love gravelly voices like that." Then silence for a while, video switched to 9th and Hennepin -- "holy crap I so need to get this, I can't believe I've never heard this, this rocks! He's great, I love this!" I almost felt like I was sullying the poor boy. I mean, Tom Waits can lead to good things, like buying all the Tom Waits one can get their hands on, or maybe reading Bukowski or Miller. Or it could lead to bad things, like picking up a vicious drinking habit, smoking way too many cigarettes, mixing with low women in terminal bars, and taking up poker. You just never know, it could go either way.

I had some weird rush of recognition, or nostalgia watching Lil Mike's eyes glow as he was lit by the presence that is The Tom. You could just feel it, he was hooked -- this was going to be a thing for him. It was a singular moment, to actually be right there when it happened -- to see it happen. Time will tell how this encounter affects Lil Mike in the long term -- I pray well. If he ends up in the gutter, drinking at 10:00 a.m. on a weekday, grinding out stories about girls that did him wrong, wearing ties and hats... it's my fault. It will be on me, because I was the one that first tipped him off.