Friday, June 5, 2009

Terminator Salvation -- I tried, I really tried

I'm sorry folks, I tried, but I failed. By the end of the movie, I was completely overwhelmed by The Suck. Or The Stupid. Or The Horriblest writing you could imagine for such a high-budget movie.

I pride myself on my willing suspension of disbelief. I really do. I can watch schlocky action movies with the best of them -- until this. Excise the last 10 minutes of the film, and I may have been able to have walked out of the theater without feeling like I had just unnecessarily aged 5 years. Maybe.

The beginning has some action sequences (ok I'll say it, helicopter crash) that are awesome, inventive, and fun to watch. Hell -- the action sequences (UNTIL THE END) are all inventive and fun to watch. But EVEN THOSE fell down for the sake of cliche at the end. The demands of cliche that someone put on this movie are staggering. Holy hell it ruined a perfectly watchable movie.

The palette of this movie, most of the action sequences and special effects, the grittiness, the apocalyptic world -- all very decent. In fact, some of the monster and actions effects are in the "fucking great" category. But the writers and their overlords shit all over that high-budget work with some incredibly, mind-numbingly stupid writing.

I knew it was going to be a rough ride when a kid who never drove a car before pulls off an epic chase scene behind the wheel of a jeep in the first 1/4 of the movie. All for the sake of one crack joke. "Oh no," my gut told me, "this is too early in the movie for a fuck up that bad.... oh no."

I can only give this movie a C (very tempted to put a "-" on that). And I'm telling you -- that says A WHOLE LOT about the look and feel of the actiony parts of this movie. Even about the first 1/2 of the movie in its entirety. Because... well yeah, what I already said.

Enjoy what you can,


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