Saturday Morning Awesome -- Area Man Passionate Defender of What He Imagines Constitution to Be

This awesomeness brought to you by The Onion:

ESCONDIDO, CA—Spurred by an administration he believes to be guilty of numerous transgressions, self-described American patriot Kyle Mortensen, 47, is a vehement defender of ideas he seems to think are enshrined in the U.S. Constitution and principles that brave men have fought and died for solely in his head.

"Our very way of life is under siege," said Mortensen, whose understanding of the Constitution derives not from a close reading of the document but from talk-show pundits, books by television personalities, and the limitless expanse of his own colorful imagination. "It's time for true Americans to stand up and protect the values that make us who we are."

According to Mortensen—an otherwise mild-mannered husband, father, and small-business owner—the most serious threat to his fanciful version of the 222-year-old Constitution is the attempt by far-left "traitors" to strip it of its religious foundation.

"Right there in the preamble, the authors make their priorities clear: 'one nation under God,'" said Mortensen, attributing to the Constitution a line from the Pledge of Allegiance, which itself did not include any reference to a deity until 1954. "Well, there's a reason they put that right at the top."

"Men like Madison and Jefferson were moved by the ideals of Christianity, and wanted the United States to reflect those values as a Christian nation," continued Mortensen, referring to the "Father of the Constitution," James Madison, considered by many historians to be an atheist, and Thomas Jefferson, an Enlightenment-era thinker who rejected the divinity of Christ and was in France at the time the document was written. "The words on the page speak for themselves."

According to sources who have read the nation's charter, the U.S. Constitution and its 27 amendments do not contain the word "God" or "Christ."

Mortensen said his admiration for the loose assemblage of vague half-notions he calls the Constitution has only grown over time. He believes that each detail he has pulled from thin air—from prohibitions on sodomy and flag-burning, to mandatory crackdowns on immigrants, to the right of citizens not to have their hard-earned income confiscated in the form of taxes—has contributed to making it the best framework for governance "since the Ten Commandments."

"And let's not forget that when the Constitution was ratified it brought freedom to every single American," Mortensen said.

Mortensen's passion for safeguarding the elaborate fantasy world in which his conception of the Constitution resides is greatly respected by his likeminded friends and relatives, many of whom have been known to repeat his unfounded assertions verbatim when angered. Still, some friends and family members remain critical.

"Dad's great, but listening to all that talk radio has put some weird ideas into his head," said daughter Samantha, a freshman at Reed College in Portland, OR. "He believes the Constitution allows the government to torture people and ban gay marriage, yet he doesn't even know that it guarantees universal health care."

Mortensen told reporters that he'll fight until the bitter end for what he roughly supposes the Constitution to be. He acknowledged, however, that it might already be too late to win the battle.

"The freedoms our Founding Fathers spilled their blood for are vanishing before our eyes," Mortensen said. "In under a year, a fascist, socialist regime has turned a proud democracy into a totalitarian state that will soon control every facet of American life."

"Don't just take my word for it," Mortensen added. "Try reading a newspaper or watching the news sometime."

Enjoy the Onion in all its glory,

Bp

[image and text via, of course, The Onion]

Saturday Morning Awesome: Grey Fox caught in a camera trap

There is a wonderful blog I follow called Camera Trap Codger, and I saw this post today that really shows the best of the best one can get using a camera trap. Hit this link to see the rest of the pictures. Not only great shots of a photogenic animal, but with a possible storyline/narrative as well.

This, of course, makes me want to run out and get one and set it up. That's what I need -- really, a new hobby. Yeah, with all that time I have.

Enjoy folks following their passions and creating great content for you to enjoy on the intartubes,

Bp

[photo credit Camera Trap Codger blog]

Saturday Night Awesome: Craig Ferguson (the Late Late Show) on the Deification of Youth

The fact that this rant sounds like a perfectly sound hypothesis to me proves that I'm an old geezer.

But I challenge you to provide sound counter-argument. Seriously.



Enjoy settling into your golden years,

Bp

[via yesbutnobutyes]

PS22 Chorus performs Don't Stop Believin'

Ok look, I hate Journey. I know hate is a strong word, but -- well it's appropriate here.

BUT

These kids are so damned cute performing their song I had to post it. Check out the facial expressions, especially of the two little boys in the front right -- simply awesome.

The PS22 Chorus Blog has more videos and info.



Enjoy cuteness when you can find it,

Bp

[props to the Portland Mercury Blog for finding this]

The Bee Photographer -- Eric Tourneret

Here is a link to Eric Tourneret's website The Bee Photographer. His "Bees in the World" series highlights the different ways in which humans interact with bees in different cultures -- from first-world beekeepers in France, to Boat-based bee keeping in Argentina, and of course the fantastic climbing honey harvesters of Nepal.

The website is fantastic, I'll only grab a few photos to show off, you should head to the source. Thanks to Dani the Canukistani for pointing this out to me.








Enjoy great representations of interesting subjects,

Bp

[photo credits in linked website]

Public Acceptance of Evolution, by Country

You have to keep going down the list if you are looking for some place close to home,

Bp

[via Blame it on the Voices]

Bonobos learning about fire, stone tools, and Pacman

Bonobos, according to some scientists, are the closest animal relations to humans on the planet. The last time I wrote about them, politics reared its ugly head. This time, I simply present a video of them acquiring language, making and using stone tools, and playing with fire (oh, and a golf cart and pacman too).

To me, the trippiest part is watching the little dude making stone flakes and using them.

Nothing to say beyond that -- the presentation awesome enough without commentary.



Enjoy learning more,

Bp

[via my Faithful Canukistani Operative "Yuri"]

Dirt! the movie

This book turned me on to the subtleties and importance of dirt: Dirt: The Ecstatic Skin of the Earth. And now there's a movie that does the same: Dirt! the Movie.

As even the preview below asserts, dirt is one of the most important factors to life on earth. It doesn't get more fundamental than that. This is why our house buys organic products. It's not only because there are health benefits for us, but more importantly it directly pays farmers to take care of the soil. If you don't pay people to do something, how can you expect them to do it?

Check out the trailer, it looks awesome.



Enjoy learning more about the systems that directly sustain you,

Bp

[via Uncle Tom]

Teaching creativity is as important as teaching literacy

This is a video of Sir Ken Robinson's presentation at the excellent TED Talks series, in which he makes the case that we are educating creativity out of people. His basic premise is that public education needs to prioritize creativity as much as it prioritizes left-brain endeavors. He makes an eloquent and compelling argument.

It is very much worth your time.

Victory gardens, the white house lawn, and eattheview.org

A young friend of mine turned me on to the video below. It is a quick overview of a man who supports converting some of the white house lawn into a vegetable garden putting his money where his mouth is. He puts a victory garden on his own front lawn. The video has some good quotes and information, for instance at one point in time (WWII) over 20 million Americans had victory gardens and produced 40% of America's fresh food.

The video, in turn, led me to the Eat The View homepage. This is the web base of operations for folks who are encouraging the incoming administration to do something productive with a section of the White House Lawn. There are some great links, including a history of the lawn and past presidents' relationship to gardens, vegetables, and food. This isn't the first time a scheme like this has been hatched. There is also, of course, a petition to sign as well.



If you are enthused with the Victory Garden idea, here are a few more links:

Maybe Victory Gardens can save the U.S. again

San Francisco's Victory Garden

The Victory Garden wiki entry

Enjoy being that much more self sufficient, and cutting down waste, and producing tasty food that only a home garden can provide,

Bp

[via the lovely Fionna]

The kind of thing that makes me want to teach science to kids

Enjoy the refreshing perspective of children,

Bp

[image via eatliver.com -- no credit available]

Generation We video

My Mom sent me this. Despite the rah rah, Pepsi-co kind of feel to it, it makes some very cogent points. For instance, this is the first generation that is inheriting a USA in decline on all fronts: economy, jobs, civil rights, education, and of course environment.

By 2016, they will be the largest voting block in the United States. That is an enormous amount of power, as we well know from the Boomer generation's stranglehold on politics for the last 25 years or so. As that one generation changed, so did the face of politics in America, right along with them. As the "We" generation comes of age, there will be another change.

I'm not sure I'm quite willing to sign on with the rah rah optimism depicted in this video, but it does give me fodder for thought. Might for you too.



Enjoy the barest twinkle of possibility in some of these thoughts,

Bp

Wake up, freak out, then get a grip

There is some straightforward, rational explanations of positive-feedback loops within the "climate change" arguments in this video. For that alone, it's worth watching. But it has a nice feel about it as well -- not hysterical, not doomsday, not too pedantic. It presents what is known and at least a beginning picture of how to digest and act on the information.

I normally shy away from climate change stuff, but this one made it through my defenses and may be a change from what you've seen as well.


Wake Up, Freak Out - then Get a Grip from Leo Murray on Vimeo.

Enjoy learning in a less-fundamentalist way about our current world state,

Bp

[via Nessa]

Large Hadron Collider Rap

Bad white geek rap is now a hackneyed form on the intartubes, however this one has some decent explanation of what's going down at the Large Hadron Collider so I thought I'd share it with ya'll. And, the joke's still kinda funny.



Enjoy different means of scientific explanation,

Bp

Laphroaig Whiskey

During a recent family reunion, one of my many uncles kept talking about Laphroaig as the only scotch worth drinking. He continued to push his point by sending me this video after I came home -- just won't let it go I tell you. It's actually quite interesting if you are into brewing and distilling at all.



Enjoy uncles who refuse to back down,

Bp

Online language, if you can call it that

I know my diction and grammar have taken serious hits since I started socializing online many moons ago. Two of my best friends are a result of online connections, so I shouldn't complain too much -- but it still worries me.

Here is a great New York Times article by Virginia Heffernan about the [lack of] grammar of online social communication.

Enjoy watching something break before it changes,

Bp

[via "Yuri" my faithful Canukistani operative]

It's not you, it's me

It has now been determined by anecdotal evidence repeated daily, that it is not in fact the Macbook that doesn't like me. It seems to be any particular computer's connection to the wireless that doesn't like me. At all. I've only been staying connected for a few minutes at a time the last few days no matter which computer I'm using.

It doesn't happen to anyone else, I'm considering having my friends here take dictation.

Today is rehearsals with the actors and tonight the plays the kids have written will be performed, for those of you following that part of the story.

I'll attempt more posts later, things are looking unusually stable at the moment.

Bp

Reflections on working with these kids, and living on the river

As I mentioned a few posts back, I'm working with teens this week with Playwrite, Inc. We are working with kids at Camp Caldera, and so basically are working like sub contractors. During this same span of time, there are other arts workshops in subjects like photography, film-making, and fiber arts going on.

The kids that signed up for our workshop are great, intense, and working their tails off. Every day their moods and attitudes change, so you really don't know what to expect next. One day kid X is reticent, and quiet, and goofing off during the exercises; and the next they are excited to get writing, and fully engaged. Today had a particularly good energy about it, and we think it's because all the kids at the camp were allowed to sleep in. At this point in the immersion program, Camp Caldera staff figured out that a good long morning can eliminate a lot of behavior problems.

So I'm finally getting paid to work one on one with kids. It takes a lot out of me, and after only 3 hours I'm ready for a nap. We spend more time back at home base going over the work produced from the day and discussing various strategies that did or didn't work with each young writer.

There already is some impressive material coming out in the character sketches the kids have developed. I'm excited to see the short plays once they've been polished, and then performed (under the direction of the kids) by professional actors at the culmination of the workshop.

Living here on the river has put me into some la-la land. My brain doesn't seem to be firing on all cylinders, I trip up on my words, and I'm taking lots of naps. It is a life out of time -- quite surreal.

I have discovered that I am truly my grandfather's progeny, because I am picking up the game of horseshoes quickly. Grandpa was a handy player himself. I had a hell of a streak a couple days back and was undefeated. The wins have slowed down a bit lately, but my throws are still looking quite classy and artful despite the fact the they aren't always scoring. Who knew.

I'm also discovering that, for blogging, my home desktop sure is an enormous help. I have a real-sized keyboard (trying to type on diminutive laptop keyboards feels like trying to speak through a ball gag), and I have all my handy blog subscriptions to cruise for material to keep the juices flowing. Even if I don't post everything I come across, the process is now part of how I warm up to write and seems to help.

I'm off to stare at the river a bit.

Enjoy unexpected circumstances, and making the best use of them you can,

Bp

Quick followup from the river

So it turns out that Bruce, the executive director of Playwrite Inc., who is hosting this little shindig on the Metolius river, is an accomplished chef. Like, bigtime.

So we finished off our evening meal with hand-cranked organic ice cream -- Port and Marionberry ice cream.

We worked with the kids today for our first day of playwriting. They did great, and it is definitely hard work to coach them. Challenging in a good way, but challenging nonetheless. I'm loving it so far. And, I'm a newb.

Off to the sleeping platform, I'll post pictures of that in the next few days. I woke up from an afternoon nap yesterday to a mule deer stag grazing about 50 ft. away.

Enjoy short, unillustrated, somewhat disjoined blog posts,

Bp

Live blogging from the Metolius River

Posts will be emitting over the intartubes from the shores of the Metolius River in Camp Sherman, Oregon. Until August 1st or so. That picture there isn't mine, but it does give you a start. I'll snap photos and share as this job with Playwrite progresses.

More later, it's dark out and folks other than me need this computer,

Bp out